Mexican Food: 24/7, 365

2013-12-29 13.04.21-1Note: this post is not meant to be taken at face value. I love Mexican food, but not as much as the following suggests.

In the world of hypotheticals, one of the more appealing scenarios would be a world with only Mexican food. Go to a burger stand, get a taco. Go to a sushi bar, get a burrito. Go to a Ben & Jerry’s, get a enchilada. This is neither a scenario that would end obesity nor be the key to ending all wars. It is simply a scenario that would make me, Sam Cat, happy. By now you are probably thinking I am crazy. Fair enough, but let me justify my insanity. There are three components that shape my opinion. Tacos/burritos, green salsa, and money (or lack there of it). A semester of statistics has taught me that these variables are statically dependent. In other words, it is the interaction of burritos, tacos, green salsa, and money that make a world of Mexican food attractive.

There are only two items of Mexican cuisine I ever eat: tacos and burritos. There are those who may ask “but won’t you get bored of eating only two things?” No, I would not. From my research, there are approximately 27 different types of meats to put in a burrito or taco. There are 16 types of salsa. There are three types of beans. Therefore, according to my calculations, the number of combinations for a burrito or taco 1,518. And that number does not even take into account the components of a breakfast burrito. Furthermore, by rotating burritos and tacos with each meal, widespread indigestion would be the only way society would get fed up with Mexican food. This, of course would only happen if our stomachs failed to adapt to the copious amounts of carnitas, carne asada, and barbacoa we would shove down our throats.

In this utopian world, every restaurant would have a salsa bar with 16 different varieties of salsa. Each of these dipped in chips makes for the perfect snack. There is only one type that matters: green salsa (salsa verde). Green salsa is so tasty that I would be happy if there were just 16 containers of it at the salsa bar. Salsa roja is good, but too spicy to be consumed on a consistent basis. It’s main purpose it to clear out your sinuses. Pico de gallo (lit. rooster beak), because of its lack of spice, is too dependent of quality tomatoes to be consistently good. Green salsa, however, is sweet, but not too sweet, spicy but not too spicy, and consistently delicious. Every taco stand I have gone to has quality green salsa. Green salsa, therefore, reins over the salsa kingdom, a land where snacking never get old.

Mexican food is cheap. It is hard to go to a Mexican restaurant and spend more than $10. For obvious reasons, this is one of the reasons I love Mexican food. Furthermore, experience has led me to believe that cheaper Mexican food is better than expensive food. This means that in a world with only Mexican food, people would spend less money on food. Money saved on food could be put towards an education, a charity, or a large TV. I love good food, but I find it ridiculous that I have to spend $20 on a salad at some restaurants. A world with only Mexican food would ensure that I get wonderful food at a wonderful price.

If these three components were implemented throughout the world, people would soon forget about pasta, burgers and noodles. They would be too excited about trying one of the 1,518 types of burritos or tacos to care that they are essentially eating the same shaped food every night. Kids would come home from school, and instead of eating a snack filled with fructose corn syrup, would eat chips and there favorite salsa. In short, people would care more about what they eat simply because their options were limited. And when people care about what they eat, the world is a happier place.

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