The Appearance of the GOP

I want to like Rick Santorum. He is likable in every aspect except his morals and beliefs. If he were to swing more towards the middle, I believe that he’s be the ideal candidate. Lets start from the top: his hair. Mitt Romney has fake, pretentious looking hair, hair that only the “elite” likes. Newt Gingrich, well, lets just say that his hair is a bit too white to evoke sympathy from anybody besides Floridians. Ron Paul’s hair can best be described as invisible, occasionally appearing at certain angles. Finally, we come to Santorum, who’s hair can best be described as a refined version of Jerry Seinfeld’s hair, which for practical purposes is a good thing. It does in fact give the impression of an average, middle class citizen; not too flashy, yet nonetheless well kept. So after hair, it’s Santorum: 1, rest of the GOP: 0 

Lets go to the face. I’ll give it to Romney here: he has the quintessential presidential face. Even when he’s worked up, he’s constantly grinning, which is also his downfall. A serious juxtaposition emerges when he’s talking about the dire state of the economy, yet has a three-to-six grin on his face. He might as well be saying “I know the economy sucks, but I don’t care, I have lots of money.” Newt Gingrich. Need I comment on his face? He looks like Bob Big Boy, and even when he’s enraged, you can’t help but giggle inside. Ron Paul is an interesting one. He does have a likable face, but it’s too likable. He evokes too much sympathy from voters. For this reason, Ron Paul will forever be stuck in the “friend zone” of American politics; people think “hey he’s a nice guy, but I mean, can’t we just be friends?” Like Paul, Santorum has a likable face, but he also has those eyes, which give him a more sinister side. If the GOP were to engage in a staring competition, Santorum would win given he doesn’t burst out into laughter while staring at Bob Bi…I mean Gingrich’s face. Santorum’s face gives the a reluctant impression that he knows he is a bit crazy, but unlike the rest of the GOP, he is honest enough to admit it. For this reason, after round two, it’s Santorum: 2, rest of GOP: 0. 

Since there’s not really much to say about the legs and torso of the candidates, I’ll focus on the clothing. Romney does dress nice. I like his button-down Oxford shirts with the straight ahead blue jeans. It gives the impression of a business man on his day off (which is actually the case). As far as politicians go, Newt Gingrich is pretty neutral when it comes to attire. He’s always in a suit, and for that reason, I can neither condemn nor approve of his cloths. The same goes for Paul, he’s always wearing a suit. Santorum on the other hand trumps the rest of the GOP due to one article of clothing: the sweater vest. Come on, how could somebody be disliked if they’re in a sweater vest? It gives the impression that you’re refined, yet humble. For many of us, the image of a politician in a suit translates into “greed”, “corruption”, and “sleaze bag”, but a sweater vest does the opposite. First of all, it shows that he is different than the rest of his peers; that he is willing to go against that grain. It shows that he cares how he looks, which the most important affect. Educated voters, more than any other group, will vote based on how the candidate looks. This is why the sweater vest does more than look good on Santorum, it reflects on his character. And after all, we do want a commander in chief who has character. 


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